This section covers frequently asked questions of Fish n Chaps...

What’s with the name FishnChaps?
Fish's surname is Fisher and mine is Chapman, it's just a bit of a pisstake on words, and it sounded right at the time. If we lived in NZ we'd be real popular :-). We've recently moved to Canberra and the suburbs Fisher and Chapman are pretty much right next to each other - it's a sign that we are just meant to be...  We used to play cricket with this mummy and her 16 year old daughter, everyone on the team called Fish 'Fish', but when the 16 year old was overheard by mummy calling her this she got into trouble and told never to do it again - why, cause bloody mummy thought Fish got her nickname not from her surname being Fisher, but because she was a lesbian (some weird ass fish eating thing that apparently lesbians do - we don't eat Fish mummy, we eat pussy!)

How long have you guys been together?
We first met at the Oct 2001 Rainbow Room when one of my mates was trying to pick Fish up, it was the following month on 3rd November 2001 that she went the grope on me (after asking my best mates permission) and hasn't been able to get away from me since.

Did you guys shack up together straight away?
No unlike most other lesbian's I have met, interacted with etc... we didn't kiss and then move in together (yes yes being harsh to the lesbians again), we were together prolly 12 months at least before we were living together in Fish's house.

Do you prefer to be called Lesbian, Gay, Queer, Carpet Muncha, Dyke, likka etc etc....
Well to be honest, gay or queer is just fine, but what ever "tickle's ya fancy", if you wish to be rude and abusive and you feel better by calling us derogatory terms, go for it - I highly doubt you can come up with anything that we haven't already been called or herd, but give it go anyway

The whole gay thing...
This is a lonnng story, one for another day...

Fish cops a bit of a hard time from you in here
Yeah but she loves it, she loves that she is the centre of my world and that I can not find anything better to write about than her.

Why doesn't Fish post?
I'd like to know the answer to that one too - it's one of the worlds great mysteries, she reads everything and tells me what to put up here, but she wont write anything for herself. She's a funny fuck tho, one day maybe, one day

Is Fish real or is she just a figment of your imagination?
Well anyone that knows me knows I have one hell of an "out there" imagination but no fortunately for me, she is real... one day really I promise she will post something.

You seem terribly obsessed with shitting and farting and any other bodily function - what’s the go with that?
Yes we admit it, we love to talk about shitting and farting - everyone does it, we just find humour in it, specially around those that get embarrassed the most. Actually we'll pretty much well talk about anything that gets a reaction - if it shouldn't be said, we'll say it, and we say it loud. We also are pretty well known for farting in public places - the silent but deadly ones are always a great source of entertainment

So do you take it that step to far and shit on each other?
Umm no, the last thing I want is any of Fish's shit anywhere near me, it's bad enough when the smell from one of her shits fill's the house. Just because we laugh and joke about it, doesn't mean we want to lick or eat it, or that we want to watch it ooze from each other's ass hole.

So you give each other a good ass finger fuck then?
No way dude, the poo hole is for one way traffic only, no fingers or any other devices go poking around up there. Some people enjoy it that’s up to them but we'll continue just joking and laffin about it.

So you're just a pair of shit sniffer's then?
Funny you should use the term "Shit Sniffer", but firstly to answer your question NO! Neither of us are shit sniffers. But... When I was living in Melb there was this chick called Viv that lived there too - she WAS a Shit Sniffer - no I'm not making this up, I would hang on all day and finally I'd have to back one out, I'd wait until she'd go to the toilet and then I'd go then bugga me dead without fail EVERY time I took a shit, Viv would go to the toilet as soon as I finished - no joke. I thought maybe I was imagining things then Dannii would be over and she noticed the same thing, when ever I had anyone over and they took a shit, sure enough Viv would go straight on in afterwards - she was a True Blue Aussie Shit Sniffa. 
And another time... a band camp... Dannii and I were hanging out at Altona Pear in Melbourne and... ahh bugga it, read the story here

What about farting, do you guys get off farting on each other?
I wouldn't say we "get off" on it, but we spend many hours laffing at the latest good one we got each other with. One night we were awake at 2am trying to out do each other in bed, the bedroom was soo rotten that the cats had to leave and get fresh air.

Do you guys like to go bushwalking?
Whilst I don't mind a bit of a wander through the bush  , I am afraid we couldn't find the "how to be a fucken good lesbian" handbook and didn't realise this was a mandatory aspect in the life of a "fucken good lesbian".

Whats the "how to be a fucken good lesbian" handbook?
It contains all the stereotypical things all good fucken lesbians should do and aspire to be.  I haven't ever been able to locate a copy, I have only read from excerpts.  It hit me hard but I dealt with the fact - over time - that I was never going to be a "good fucken lesbian".

You have other questions you would like answered? send em through...